Dear Rabbi Boy,
Allan Festekjian has a small penis. But he’s a human being. Many humans have small penises. It’s like an average thing. He’s small. Most humans are. So he’s so much more human. He’s small and so human.
But he’s tall and it’s disproportionate. I want to help him. Because he’s human. And human beings deserve help. I wish benevolence, for human beings need that type of help. It’s a good thing to help those who are disproportionate.
I have a quandary, that maybe it’s way below average. It could be. We don’t know. I will keep thinking. Maybe he’s a wonker away from the standard deviation. Like a big wonker, to the left.
Anyways, despite that, he’s monitoring me because he’s afraid after having sex with the love of my life. He was envious so he had to try. Since envy is human, it’s ok. Right?
Signed,
Rabbi Cool
Vacay Day 1: Japan, MA Turkey 56789